Traveling at the speed of snails

I can't wait to get high speed! The game plan is to get satellite installed in January...

Looking Closely

Suzie walked up to me at work today to share a tidbit. “I hope you didn’t see Patsy today. You would be angry if you saw how she's dressed today” she proclaimed.

“Hmmmm” I thought to myself. “Do I get angry that easily? I don't think I anger that easily.”

Suzie went on to tell me how Patsy was dressed, commenting her certainty it would never pass the dress code. To tell the truth, I don’t even know what she said Patsy was wearing as I was too taken back by the fact that Suzie was standing in front of me in dirty tennis shoes, too-short sweatpants and a sweatshirt…telling me how tacky Patsy was dressed today. Surely Patsy’s outfit couldn’t rival Suzie’s for “tacky in the workplace”.

It got me thinking, though. How many times have each of us rained criticism on another while ignoring our own failings? How many times have I done just that thing? Frankly, that’s quite a scary thought. Did Suzie not realize I wouldn’t be seen in public dressed like she was today, much less in a professional office where dress code is business casual? How many times have I myself been so blind, acted so foolishly? I shudder to think.

“And why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but do not consider the plank in your own eye?”

Mat 7:3

Names changed...

Life begins at 50

The mundane can take on a magical beauty when God is in it.

I love being 50. But I have decided I'm a slow learner, very methodical, things take time to really soak in. When I was ready to hit the "big 4-0" people (well, at least one person multiple times) would tell me that it's "all downhill". Apparently, once you hit 40 things start falling apart, the mind grows dim, the body develops aches and pains and begins to break down in all kinds of ways.

Be that as it may, and I'm not sure I agree with that, I LOVE being 50. That's probably because it took me 40 years to grow up. (Well, "grow up" is a relative term after all.) Until I turned 40, life just went along pretty much as planned. There were few mysteries or surprises. I knew about God, I wanted to know Him better, but it seemed mostly one-sided to me. God was pretty silent. Maybe because I was trying to get Him to follow me on the path I was choosing, maybe because I hadn't learned how to listen at all.

But sometime after 40 I guess God figured there was enough foundation to start messing with me without me totally falling apart. Sometime around 40 I told Him that I'd done a pretty poor job running my life, and He was welcome to step in and take over any time, and I meant it. And for the past 10 years He's been doing just that.

He teaches me over and over (and over...and over....and...) to let go. That is such a difficult thing to do. Often He has to bring me to the point where I have no other choice. But that is when the most incredible things happen.

So why do I love being 50? It's because I can now look back and see so many amazing things that God has done. Miracles! Not just in my life, but in the lives of those around me.

Can you relate?

Illusions

We went back to our family church this morning. Just a visit. At my sister's encouragement, our family almost filled three pews. As a matter of fact, I think our family was about half the attendance this morning. Maybe not, but close.

They had a special speaker this morning. She shared that she had a very rough first 40 years, yet she doesn't regret it. I didn't get the impression she and I had the same circumstances at all, but she does appear to look at her tough years like I do mine...they were preparation for the rest of her life. She has moved on, those years have made of her a better witness and a better person.

Sometimes I look at how much I've grown and I feel ready to take on whatever God might want of me. I feel strong; I feel destiny pulling me toward the road ahead. Then I'll say or do something stupid and I know it's all just an illusion. I realize just how little I've actually grown, and I'll spend the rest of the day miserably aware that I will never be what I want to be. I question whether God could ever use me at all. I feel destined to nothingness.

*sigh* I know that all God wants is for us to live each day for itself, listening for His voice in the smallest of circumstances. I guess it's human nature for us to aspire to greatness. I guess, in the end, it's just human pride.

Changing Seasons

I sit in our home office gazing over my desk through the curtainless window. The bright golden yellow of the fall leaves outside practically glow against the clear blue winter sky as they fall gently to the ground. one by one, shimmering with the icy white snow that glitters amidst the gold. It makes me remember how happy I am to live where I do.

It also makes me remember I need to get my day-dreaming butt in gear and get the cold weather plastic kits on the windows before we get our next heating bill!

Oh, the weather outside is...

The first snow fall of the season greeted the frosty morning chill as holiday shopping filled the air

OK, I did it!

3:00 am this morning unable to fall back to sleep I contemplate the day's challenge. My restlessness must have awakened Tim.

3:50 am Tim rises early, instead of his usual 4:00 am, to get ready for work.

4:10 am I roll out of bed, dread in my heart for the task ahead.

4:45 am I'm ready.

5:05 am I pull into a parking space at the local Walmart, cross the crowded lot and head for electronics, the busiest section in the place.

6:00 am Smiling in satisfaction, I retrace the distance to my car, singing softly to myself through the now many empty parking spaces. Starting the engine, I make it home before sunrise. Happily, it's over for another year.

Have I said I hate crowds...and shopping...and mostly shopping in crowds?

HAPPY BLACK FRIDAY!

Giving Thanks

These turkeys live in thankful safety across the road...thankful we hunt our bird in the local grocery meat section

I Am Thankful…

1. For my husband, my daughters, my granddaughters, my parents, my grandparents, my brother and sister, and the rest of my creatively functional family.

2. For the beautiful small bit of country property on which I live.

3. For a healthy, functioning body that still knows how to heal itself and take occasional gastronomic abuse from it’s owner.

4. For being born to live in a country where I have the right to complain about the country in which I live.

5. For a job that gives me a sense of purpose, as well as meeting my needs.

6. For animals, some of which have been great friends.

7. For the opportunity to live in such a delightful climate which gives me just enough cold and
snow to be happy when it’s not cold and snowy, and just enough summer heat to make me happy when fall chill hits the air.

8. For friends who put up with my sometimes creatively dysfunctional personality.

9. For continual opportunities to stretch and grow in all kinds of directions.

10. For the occasional (read…‘constant’) surprises that keep life from being boring.

11. For the grace of miracles in my life that have kept me from permanent consequences from my mistakes.

12. For trials and challenges that create in me an ever-growing relationship with God, my Father.

People Need the Lord

Life is a struggle. I honestly don't know how people do it without a firm faith in God. I look around me and see so much pain and heartache. People are hurting, they dwell in anger, they hurt each other in their attempts to find something to fill the unquenchable void in their lives. When faced with decisions they seem destined to always make the wrong one.

I see others facing unimaginable trials. Pain, uncertain futures. And yet they dwell in peace, acceptance. They look to others for support, and reach out to help, looking beyond their own hardships.

What is the difference in these lives? It's simple...a faith in God that allows them to rest in the knowledge that they are never alone. They know that God loves them, and though we can never understand the hard times we know that He will give us the strength to endure. And we know that at the end of this hard road is an eternal joy.

Kind of like the labor pains that end in the unspeakable joy of seeing the face of a new life, precious and as yet untouched by this world. As I watch newborn Paige sleeping peacefully she will sometimes smile. Mom says it's a tummy ache. I think it's because the thoughts placed in her innocent, untouched little mind are yet only those put there from the Father.

Aaaaack!!!!!!!

My Grandpa, isn't he the cutest!

I have been trying in vain to find a reasonable solution to our "dial-up only" dilemma. Surely there is a cost-effective answer out there somewhere! I have found two possibilities. Broadband would not be an unreasonable cost, but as we run two different operating systems on our laptop and desktop we would have to times that by two $$. (As in too, too expensive.) Satellite is our only other option. Maybe in January.

Meanwhile, we continue to travel at the speed of a buckboard crossing the prairie. *sigh* Meanwhile, life continues at the speed of, well, high speed.

Thank goodness (well, actually, thank God) I have a wonderful boss. I have a very busy agenda for tomorrow, made manageable only by the fact that she suggested I take the extra day off this week when I didn't have enough sense to request it myself.

Life is busy. Life is good. I have been greatly blessed.

Vicky

Evolution

Tim's ex-wife passed away last month and he quickly made arrangements to fly out to Oklahoma for the funeral. It was a more emotional, traumatic time for us than I ever dreamed it would be. WE seemed to disappear. The phone calls, the emails...condolences to Tim on his loss...they were difficult. People from Tim's past I don't even know... One person even went so far as to state she knew (his ex) was his treasure and always would be. Yes, I'm able to keep it in perspective...I understand... But, c'mon, it hurts, you know.

But regardless of how either one of us felt, he had to go. Watching him take that trip back in time was difficult. Being apart was difficult. It was a time of reflection for both of us. It was also a time of cleansing and refocus. And it was a time of great blessing.

But ZAP! our personal blogs and emails are GONE! No one was more surprised than I to pull up Tim's blog, rather, to try to pull up Tim's blog and find it gone! But it was all part of that process of refocusing who we are as a couple, and as individuals. I had quit blogging anyway, and also zapped my own blog. At this point, I feel I must apologize to our blogging friends.

In the meantime we have been blessed with grand-daughter number two. We now have a grand-daughter in Oklahoma we have to fly out to see, and a grand-daughter who will be a part of our daily lives. Two daughters in Oklahoma I've barely had a chance to know, and two daughters who have become part of Tim's daily life. So how do we balance all that?

Well, if you're interested in how we blend this all together, you have the opportunity to see first hand as we evolve, combine, and live out our path to God's glory.

Today is...

"Today is the first day of the rest of your life." There are life-changing moments when that is so true.

November 14 is one of those. It was 1987 and I became "mom" to my second daughter, born that day. With two daughters my children were complete and would be a part of my heart for the rest of my life.

November 14 once again became a day of pivotal change. On that day, this year, my oldest daughter presented me with a granddaughter who immediately stole her own place in my heart, and nothing will ever be the same.

There have been many other momentous days in the past 50 years. So many in just the past five that it amazes me to think how the Lord has blessed me. There have been others, days of such pain that I will never forget. But through it all God has given me reason to rejoice and thank Him for even those moments, because it means that I have also been given the chance to love and be loved greatly.

I know that God has plans for my next 50 years. I dare not think too far ahead for the grief I know is waiting for me there. But, through faith, I know there is also much joy. It is my fervent prayer that I would not so much seek God's blessing on my plans, but rather, seek to live out God's plans for my next 50 years. That is what would make my next 50 far greater than the first.